Blessed Assurance

Sometimes I make these big plans for myself...and then they all come crashing down.
Which brings me to my knees, as well.
Ouch, sometimes I hit my face.

So I found out that I did not get the RD job at Campbell for next year...and I am still uncertain as to where I will get a teaching job. Triton still looks pretty promising, but no guarantees there either. Pooie, it looks like I'm going to have to grow up a little faster than I thought I would have to. Blah I just get so selfish and frustrated inside when my awesome "plans" don't work out the way I thought they should.

I really wanted to be an RD and get to know some more young girls coming into college and have an influence and blahdee blah...but then again, I know I will be able to focus on my students 100% my first year of teaching. YET, I will have to find a place to live (and get a job), and will not be able to save as much money as I had hoped during my first few years of teaching. I just wanna save up money and go to grad school and learn about Southern Literature and perhaps get a TA position at State or something. With my 3.9 GPA, it's a possibility; but I would like to take off time from teaching to focus on that at some point too, which is hard to do without any funds to support myself.

Another thought: why is it that people who are getting married can have people "shower" them with gifts and go to Target and pick out anything in the store and people go buy it for them, but people who are single and need to start a new life would be considered completely rude and weird to have a gift registry for things they need? I don't really have the money to buy things I need like towels and kitchen supplies for an apartment, but since I'm single and not getting married anywhere in the near future, I don't get a party thrown for me? Yes, singleness in itself is a gift...but getting married has its gifty perks! Oh, the irony. Haha! (Ok ok I'm done with that outbursting ramble!)

In the end, I am reminded of the old tune "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine..." And that is the only assurance that is completely certain and unfading. My plans fail. Always. His plans are sovereign, and I trust him. He will secure my needs. Hallelloo...if I trusted myself, I'd be in a very dark place, I'm sure..

"Everybody knows it hurts to grow up..." [Ben Folds]