Current thoughts:
Dear NC legislature:
Stop cutting teacher jobs and teacher pay. If you diminish advances in education, you automatically impoverish our future.
Not much love,
Abigail
Ok, so I am not thinking this just because I need a teaching job. However, I'm tired of the fact that all I hear from principals is, "We would love to have you, but I don't know if I can hire anyone because I'm waiting to hear from the county..." I just can't help but realize that cutting education is a huge mistake in the long run. It CAN'T happen. That's all there is to it. Making classes larger and getting rid of teachers makes less time for individual learning, and neglects many students who will fall to the wayside just because they are not vocal enough to demand attention they need. It hurts my heart. Of course I'm worried that I will not get a job...for some reason, I'm pretty sure I will...maybe because I'm prideful and I know that I'm way too awesome for them to turn me down, but I'm just so frustrated.
I'm not even that excited about graduating because I'm so nervous about what's coming next. I don't know where I'm going to be next year, how I'm going to figure out where to live/who to live with/furniture to buy/etc... so I can't even enjoy what's going on right now. Plus, I am trying to find some little summer job near high point to keep me afloat until I do get a real "big girl" job in the Fall. I just never expected for things to be like this...all I heard about coming into education was the "teacher shortage, especially in High School," so it just doesn't make any sense to me.
Ok, I will stop now. I know that the Lord has a plan, it's just very hard to see myself surrounded by a cloud of confusion.
Oh, the wonder of life!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Blessed Assurance
Sometimes I make these big plans for myself...and then they all come crashing down.
Which brings me to my knees, as well.
Ouch, sometimes I hit my face.
So I found out that I did not get the RD job at Campbell for next year...and I am still uncertain as to where I will get a teaching job. Triton still looks pretty promising, but no guarantees there either. Pooie, it looks like I'm going to have to grow up a little faster than I thought I would have to. Blah I just get so selfish and frustrated inside when my awesome "plans" don't work out the way I thought they should.
I really wanted to be an RD and get to know some more young girls coming into college and have an influence and blahdee blah...but then again, I know I will be able to focus on my students 100% my first year of teaching. YET, I will have to find a place to live (and get a job), and will not be able to save as much money as I had hoped during my first few years of teaching. I just wanna save up money and go to grad school and learn about Southern Literature and perhaps get a TA position at State or something. With my 3.9 GPA, it's a possibility; but I would like to take off time from teaching to focus on that at some point too, which is hard to do without any funds to support myself.
Another thought: why is it that people who are getting married can have people "shower" them with gifts and go to Target and pick out anything in the store and people go buy it for them, but people who are single and need to start a new life would be considered completely rude and weird to have a gift registry for things they need? I don't really have the money to buy things I need like towels and kitchen supplies for an apartment, but since I'm single and not getting married anywhere in the near future, I don't get a party thrown for me? Yes, singleness in itself is a gift...but getting married has its gifty perks! Oh, the irony. Haha! (Ok ok I'm done with that outbursting ramble!)
In the end, I am reminded of the old tune "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine..." And that is the only assurance that is completely certain and unfading. My plans fail. Always. His plans are sovereign, and I trust him. He will secure my needs. Hallelloo...if I trusted myself, I'd be in a very dark place, I'm sure..
"Everybody knows it hurts to grow up..." [Ben Folds]
Which brings me to my knees, as well.
Ouch, sometimes I hit my face.
So I found out that I did not get the RD job at Campbell for next year...and I am still uncertain as to where I will get a teaching job. Triton still looks pretty promising, but no guarantees there either. Pooie, it looks like I'm going to have to grow up a little faster than I thought I would have to. Blah I just get so selfish and frustrated inside when my awesome "plans" don't work out the way I thought they should.
I really wanted to be an RD and get to know some more young girls coming into college and have an influence and blahdee blah...but then again, I know I will be able to focus on my students 100% my first year of teaching. YET, I will have to find a place to live (and get a job), and will not be able to save as much money as I had hoped during my first few years of teaching. I just wanna save up money and go to grad school and learn about Southern Literature and perhaps get a TA position at State or something. With my 3.9 GPA, it's a possibility; but I would like to take off time from teaching to focus on that at some point too, which is hard to do without any funds to support myself.
Another thought: why is it that people who are getting married can have people "shower" them with gifts and go to Target and pick out anything in the store and people go buy it for them, but people who are single and need to start a new life would be considered completely rude and weird to have a gift registry for things they need? I don't really have the money to buy things I need like towels and kitchen supplies for an apartment, but since I'm single and not getting married anywhere in the near future, I don't get a party thrown for me? Yes, singleness in itself is a gift...but getting married has its gifty perks! Oh, the irony. Haha! (Ok ok I'm done with that outbursting ramble!)
In the end, I am reminded of the old tune "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine..." And that is the only assurance that is completely certain and unfading. My plans fail. Always. His plans are sovereign, and I trust him. He will secure my needs. Hallelloo...if I trusted myself, I'd be in a very dark place, I'm sure..
"Everybody knows it hurts to grow up..." [Ben Folds]
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Miss...uh...Lynn?
Well, student teaching is coming to a close almost! I have officially finished more than enough teaching hours (142 out of 125 to be exact), and I will still teach a few more days before the semester closes, I'm sure. Honestly, the whole deal has been a lot less stressful than I thought it would be. I only had one full breakdown day, and it was near the beginning when I had just started Romeo and Juliet and I just freaked out and stopped breathing for a little bit, cried my eyes out, and talked to people I knew would help me. They encouraged me and brought me back to where I knew I should be: knowing that I am capable and completely ready to teach.
Yes, I have complained about my situation...more so at the beginning because I was still very unsure of what I was doing and decided to put blame on situations and innocent people rather than myself, I admit. But the more comfortable I became with my students and the school, the less I worried about thinking too hard; I just DID it. I can't even explain how, it just came to me. I love teaching, there can be no denying it.
The thing I love the most about teaching is interacting with my students. They have really become my own; and I truly love each one of them. Sometimes they grate my nerves and make me call them down, but that's a necessary part of growing and learning. I know that the education system is messed up and politics are flying everywhere and there's no money in the economy for education, so we're going to send future generations down the drain (ok, so I'm being a little harsh, but it irks me). I have heard it all. But I also know that I am willing to work hard to be a great teacher. I know I can teach students who think that they can't do anything; because I know that they can. It's frustrating when they write essays like they are texting, but those are boundaries I am going to have to break.
Ok, so you're wondering about the title. I have learned every single student's name...that's about 70, okay? And my name is written clearly on the whiteboard next to the date every day. Yet these precious lambs still cannot remember my name. "Miss, I have a question...Miss..." "Miss Lynnn? Wheaare are yOu frommm?" "High Point." "Aoohhh. I knew you weren't from 'round down hearr." Precious lambs? Yes, indeed.
One of my favorite things is to start the class off by singing in opera, "The bell has rung!" It's super fun and makes them think I'm crazy. I love that.
Yes, I have complained about my situation...more so at the beginning because I was still very unsure of what I was doing and decided to put blame on situations and innocent people rather than myself, I admit. But the more comfortable I became with my students and the school, the less I worried about thinking too hard; I just DID it. I can't even explain how, it just came to me. I love teaching, there can be no denying it.
The thing I love the most about teaching is interacting with my students. They have really become my own; and I truly love each one of them. Sometimes they grate my nerves and make me call them down, but that's a necessary part of growing and learning. I know that the education system is messed up and politics are flying everywhere and there's no money in the economy for education, so we're going to send future generations down the drain (ok, so I'm being a little harsh, but it irks me). I have heard it all. But I also know that I am willing to work hard to be a great teacher. I know I can teach students who think that they can't do anything; because I know that they can. It's frustrating when they write essays like they are texting, but those are boundaries I am going to have to break.
Ok, so you're wondering about the title. I have learned every single student's name...that's about 70, okay? And my name is written clearly on the whiteboard next to the date every day. Yet these precious lambs still cannot remember my name. "Miss, I have a question...Miss..." "Miss Lynnn? Wheaare are yOu frommm?" "High Point." "Aoohhh. I knew you weren't from 'round down hearr." Precious lambs? Yes, indeed.
One of my favorite things is to start the class off by singing in opera, "The bell has rung!" It's super fun and makes them think I'm crazy. I love that.
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