Ah, those summer nights

I should be sleeping, but staying up late is what summers are for, right?

Some things I've been thinking about lately:

a. I should do better at summer reading. I think people expect me to be a huge reading nerd bc I majored in English, but I really have to buckle down and make time to read it seems. I do love it (although I still think I'm a slow-ish reader), but I'm usually a bum and do other random things instead...and a lot of my time recently has been filled with applications, organizing my room, and trying to see some friends before they go away for a long time. So it's acceptable I think. But soon, I shall re-embark on the MANY new and exciting (yet classic) book finds from yardsales that have been gathering dust on my newly set-up bookcases in my room.

b. What has happened to my heart? There are times when I am so up, and times when I am so down. There is just no in-between for me. I have always known that and seen that in my life, but I feel like recently I've been so sad inside for stupid, selfish reasons. I envy the lives of people I know, and I think that things "should have been different" for me...and it's a load of blah. I have been looking back on many things that I find in my room: trinkets, letters, yearbooks, etc. And realizing that there are times in my life that I have been so completely in love with the Lord that my heart just swells with joy and it comes out in the things that I write, say, and do. I don't know where I am exactly right now, but I know that I am not where I should be. I am crying out for Christ to be my all, but inside I am thinking "if only I had this...then everything would be okay.." But I will NEVER find myself in anything else but the One who redeemed my life from the pit of emptiness and death. So I pray that my heart will be renewed..."refresh my heart in Christ!"

c. I think any other problems I've been thinking about will always relay back to b, so I will go "this far and no further....we must draw the line here!" (if you can tell me what that's from you will get your name in my happy book)

d. I'm ready to be a teacher and have my own classroom and my own students, who will become what I secretly call my "babies" even though they're not that young. I am so excited to have my own room and decorate it and teach them.

Call to the Lord, and He will answer. This I believe.