Everybody knows it hurts to grow up...

On campus--
During Spring break.
Barely anyone around.
And I,
I wake up before the sun--
And emerge as it does,
Greeting the world,
But thinking I am too young to be in this role.

I don't know why I felt the need to write that "poetically," but I did. I think a lot of things are hitting me today. Especially because I'm here on campus with no one else around because I sort of have a real job (minus the huge paychecks that come with the teaching profession). And because I'm going to begin teaching tomorrow fulltime, and it's going to be longer than I thought, as the words from my cooperating teacher today hit me with an internal freakout: "I don't have any more lesson planning to do now that you're taking over!" (When another teacher asked her if she wanted an activity sheet for later in the semester) MEANING: Miss Lind has to come up with lesson plans beyond the ones she's been brooding over for this Romeo and Juliet mere 2 week unit....

Then I did some math. For me to get my 125 teaching hours in, I must teach for 3 full weeks beyond these 2 for Shakespeare. So, it looks like I'm going to teach for 5 straight weeks starting tomorrow. I don't know why this never hit me before, but it just didn't. So now I'm kinda going insane inside a little bit. But ok it makes perfect sense, this is "student teaching," and in the Fall, I will be "for real teaching" everyday, not just when I've decided that I'm ready and someone else can take over when I don't feel like getting in front of a classroom of 25 giggling, squirming, or sleeping 9th graders.

AND! If I teach for these 5 weeks straight, I will be DONE with my teaching before my Spring break (the week after Easter)! Which means I will be able to relax and really work on putting together my portfolio after my break.

So, there are ups and downs, but this is life. I just can't believe I'm already here. I've worked my little Abigail fanny off for 3 and a half years to make it to this point, but I never thought it would come--it was always this faraway dream caught in a cloud that I couldn't truly see. And now it's here in reality. But I still can't grasp that it's happening to me right now!

Ok enough of the craziness, just had to type it all out.
I hate being here alone all week! Yesterday, I ate lunch and dinner in Marshbanks by myself and I had fun conversations in my head -- which could mean I'm crazy or I could make a good writer.

Pray for my heart's peace.
Abs